“Babies don’t come with instructions” (author unknown) take parenting classes is what most will suggest. Others will say just wing it. And there are those that say all I need to do is feed them, clothe them and make sure they dont hurt or kill themselves, their only my responsibility until they are 18 years of age. Ok.. and then what? Hope all you tried to teach them will stay in their mind ? That even though I didn’t know what the hell I was doing from bad choices to bad advice I gave because I was still learning myself, doesn’t screw up their lives? Are we to turn our heads when they make choices that affect the quality of life for them? Or continue to be there for them as some parents were there for us? Sadly there are some parents that chose to leave even before their children were “of age”. But what is parenting.
My parenting started at the young age of sixteen. Now at forty years old with 4 children I gave birth to, one stepson and nephew I helped raise I’m back to questioning myself my parenting. What is it that I am doing or supposed to do? All are adults except for my surprise twelve years ago. Now raising my first grandson of three years old. I can admit I am a typical Hispanic woman who has a stereotype live and family. But I am proud of my family I love each one more than I can ever express. They are apart of me, my tribe they are my clubs and I… well I am their momma bear. I protect them with all I am. I fight for them in any I see fit at the time.
This isn’t easy in any way. It’s the hardest job I have ever had. Rules and guidelines are always changing. They changed with the times. They change as they age. I have pretty much grown up with my children. Gone through more than I’d ever imagined. Taking my childhood and that of my husband’s removing what didn’t help us with what we wish we had. Not taking in the difference of personality traits and hereditary behaviors and illnesses. Its be a beautiful mess.
But when I am tired and weary of keeping up with each different situations they are in at this time of their lives and my own is when I lose track of what parenting is. I see and read others perspectives about what parenting is or should be. Comparing it with mine it balances out in more positive ways than negative. So then why am I questioning? Why do I tire myself with these thoughts and ideas of what is right and what is wrong? Where can I get peace in my heart? Even a little respect for the extra mile(s) I dragged myself too just give them a little more encouragement and peace in their life and in their hearts.
For me parenting is a not always beautiful and happy experience. Its filled with lots of trial and error. There are good times and bad times. We have little human beings that rely on us for love, guidance and support. Winging it some of the time with experience and even parenting classes we gain more knowledge and patience too. Although our children grow into adults and we by law are not legally responsible for them being a parent isnt over. We are still teaching them as their lives go on. Of course the rules and guidelines change. But I believe that we can love, guide and support our adult children in more of a cheerleading type of way to out it simple. Remembering that we are not perfect neither are they but enjoy the time we have with each other for as long as we are together. Be happy with who we are as parents also as human beings. Stand firm in what you be6lieve and always have faith that all is as it should be.